Like everyone else, I started the year asking myself if 2022 would be a good year. If you know me well enough, you know how difficult the previous years were for me. I was unemployed and about to go homeless. I was struggling to survive – scraping every peso to get by.
Since I was living in survival mode every day, with little reprieve, my mental health took a hit. I was anxious and depressed; things weren’t looking good for me. I began pushing people away; I was desperate, angry, and miserable during this time.
And then, like an act of providence, I found a job and met Claire.
All of a sudden, things became brighter. My diligence was starting to pay off, and I began to hope for a better future again. I haven’t felt this good for the longest time.
The start of a new year often signifies hope for a brighter future – symbolizing new beginnings. In a way, it’s a form of renewal – like a snake shedding its skin. It’s the perfect time to embark on the unknown and try things you haven’t tried before.
Yet, there would be no beginnings if there was no end. And every ending is just as important as its beginning. This cycle of beginnings and endings makes this life worth living.
2022 is, by all means, a heartbreaking year – I would not deny that. But in life, I learned that you got to know how to roll with the punches. Learn to surf against the tide and take as much of the good with the bad and vice versa. You got to try your best to live despite the losses.
How will I Remember 2022?
2022 is when I got back on my feet. After years of struggle, I finally saved enough money for a safety net. This year, I sent my daughter back to a decent enough school. On top of that, I can now afford insurance if something unexpected happens. At least now, I don’t have to worry much about my daughter’s future.
For my daughter, 2022 has been a fantastic year as well. Without a doubt, she came out of her shell and stood out this year. I never stop encouraging and guiding her in everything she does. Nothing in this world brings me more joy than seeing her grow into a phenomenal person. I wish her nothing but the best.
Since Claire’s passing, I’d spent an hour before work thinking about her. I developed a habit of lighting a candle to commemorate her every day. I also use this time to meditate and do breathing exercises to slow things down. Besides that, I also recite the serenity prayer even though I’m not religious. I know Alcoholics Anonymous commonly use it in their meetings, but it’s what works for me right now. Serenity, courage, and wisdom.
To cope with loneliness, I devote my time to reading books. Honestly, I’m surprised at how much I neglected myself since Claire’s passing. I got too much free time that I read three books back to back. I needed to realign myself and somehow learn how to live again.
I read Self Care for Men by Garrett Munce, which is greatly responsible for my well-being as of late. I also read Meditations by the renowned emperor of Rome, Marcus Aurelius. It helped in coming to terms with losing Claire. Lastly, I read Cormac McCarthy’s masterpiece, The Road. This book is a writing masterclass with a phenomenal yet heartbreaking story. It is a definite must-read on my list.
Another thing that kept me occupied this 2022 are Gunplas. Gunplas are plastic model kits from the anime Gundam. They are tons of fun to build, so I bought another kit this Christmas. I’ve always wanted to try them as a hobby, and now I have plenty of time. I’ve decided to give it a go. I’m surprised at how they evolved from my childhood. The level of intricacy is insane, and it did a fantastic job keeping me busy.
On top of that, I’m trying my best to socialize and not isolate myself. I will admit that after Claire’s passing, many people sounded stupid. During the first weeks, I shut myself out from the outside world. Then, I realized that some people mean well. They simply aren’t equipped with the right words to say, and I try to be patient as much as possible. I’m trying my best to make new friends while rekindling new ones. I’m glad I still have the strength not to be bitter despite my losses.
The biggest lesson for 2022 is to try your best to live despite the losses. Take care of yourself as much as possible because no one will do that for you. And no matter what happens, don’t quit, especially on being a good person. Why? Because that’s what good guys do.
So, what big things are happening in 2023? To be honest, I’m just as clueless are you are. Though, this one is for sure. I will continue living as much as I can, especially now that my life is beyond my daughter and me but also for Claire. I will forever be grateful for this life.
With that said, I’m leaving you with a splendid quote from one of my favorite authors. I wish you a fantastic new year! See you again next time!
To serenity, courage, and wisdom, cheers!
A Barbarian in Gentlemen's Clothing 
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