We all have toxic people in our lives infecting us with their negativity. It could be that college friend who would not shut up about the good old days or that coworker who manipulates every situation in their favor.
We deal with them and their brand of indifference nearly all the time. And whether it is intentional or not, we cannot deny that it affects our well-being to a tremendous extent. They can be exhausting, leaving us feeling miserable and unhappy.
Today, we will talk about how to recognize toxic people and how to deal with them. But before anything else, please click the like button. While you are at it, hit the follow button so you would not miss out on any of my posts.
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How to Deal with Toxic People?
The word toxic gets thrown a lot these days, but what exactly is it?
A toxic person is someone whose action brings negativity into your life. Whether intentional or not, they upset you to a greater extent. Dealing with them can be soul-sucking and unpleasant.
With that said, the definition of a toxic person is highly relative. We all have varying experiences and levels of tolerance. What we deemed displeasing might be different for others.
I am not stating you should suck it up and completely ignore your well-being. There are proven toxic people signs that could make your life miserable.
Signs of a Toxic Person
- They are manipulative
- They disregard your boundaries
- They are always right
- They love to be the victim
- They do not take accountability
Can a Toxic Person Change?
Certainly! But they must acknowledge their part in the problem. Otherwise, they would not see any motivation to do so. It would also take a significant deal of effort on your side.
Before burning any bridges, I would remind you that a toxic person is someone who is also dealing with stress and trauma. Most of the time, they simply want some reassurance and patience.
Who knows, you might also be exhibiting toxic people traits and need those too. A bit of empathy goes a long way, don’t you think?
Yet, it only goes so far. Some might even see it as an opportunity to exploit. With that, I’d say that genuine kindness doesn’t mean you’re a pushover – it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you tried every possible means for a suitable outcome, and it’s time to drop the hammer. It is not cowardice, don’t mistake the two.
How to Cut Toxic People Out?
Before I say anything, a word of warning: be prepared to appear like the villain. Toxic people would do anything to be the victim in any situation. It’s what makes them poisonous, so be ready.
Never Talk to Them In Private
As I said, toxic people love playing the victim. They would do everything they could to twist the truth and make you look like it was your fault. Always talk to them in public to prevent them from manipulating what happened. Do not answer their calls, and do not reply to their emails and text messages. Block them on social media.
Do Not Argue
Toxic people love arguments and confrontations. It’s effortless for them to manipulate what is happening when your emotions are high. Avoid feeling like you owe them any explanation at all. Your feeling is not open for debate. Be calm and say what’s necessary.
Create Distance
I get that most of the toxic people in our lives are people that mean so much to us. They could be parents, siblings, or even spouses. Sometimes, there are just no simple means to cut them off. Familiarity breeds contempt. Try creating some distance instead of cutting them off. Focus on other aspects of your life to form a sense of boundary.
Summary
I won’t lie; dealing with toxic people is an often brutal affair. It could be the most challenging ordeal you can do in your life. But, it is also the most liberating and life-changing decision you will ever make. You are prioritizing your well-being over someone else’s dysfunction. You recognize that their negativity erodes your fundamental self-worth.
So there you have it, that is my take on Toxic people and how to deal with them. I hope you enjoy it. If you want more content, please check out my other posts!
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A Barbarian in Gentlemen's Clothing 
Good advice! I know some toxic people, and I’ve found these tips to be true!
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Glad it could be of help!
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Some great advice Mr A, however, I feel like you’ve missed two descriptions of toxic people that I’ve personally encountered in all experiences of dealing with such individuals; they’re often judgemental, and because of that, they’re also highly critical. I used to take a lot of those criticisms on board and believe that those criticisms were true and a reflection of me, but since studying toxic people more I’ve come to realise that really these comments are really a reflection of them and their internal pain. So the saying goes, hurt people hurt people.
It’s also worth pointing out that toxic people are often riddled with anxiety and are painfully insecure. They don’t like themselves, and so the way they combat that is to pull others down. My mother was a toxic influence for many years, and the way to combat that was to compliment her on her strengths. She’s still not perfect by any means, but you can reduce a lot of that toxicity, as you quite rightly say, if you know what toxic people really need.
I’ll admit here that I can be manipulative, but I use manuipulation for the greater good, rather than selfish, personal gain. Let’s say somebody isn’t working on part of a team project, I’ll remind them how important it is that everybody plays their part in order for us to succeed. I don’t enjoy it by any means, but sometimes you have to use dirty tricks where “please” and “thankyou” don’t work. I’ve led teams before, and sometimes leaders have to play hard ball with more challenging individuals. I enjoy team success much more than I enjoy manipulating people, I assure you.
Lastly, there is a caveat that needs to be mentioned here, and that is abuse. Toxicity is one thing, but nobody should sit by and expect an abusive person to change. Some people are simply frustrating to deal with, while others are outright dangerous. Some people just need a hug and some love, and others also require professional support. I do, however, avoid calling people “abusers”. After all, there is good and bad in all of us.
A great post Mr.A! Thankyou for sharing 🙂
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Excellent article. I appreciate the sensitivity and kindness you wish to exhibit to them in the beginning of the breakup…a great way to start the process!
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For me, walking away without engaging. I would rather isolate this individual than absorb more of someone’s negativity.
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