Greetings Barbarians! Long days and pleasant nights!
Gentlemen, we have all been there. There is nothing more annoying than listening to someone complain. I dislike complainers – I have an aversion to people who complains a lot, especially over trivial matters. It makes them sound desperate and ungrateful. Complainers do not see a glass as half empty or half full; they call the manager.
One of the off-putting experiences I had with my ex-wife is her non-stop complaints. She complains just about anything, and it bothered me so much. It was one of the factors why my marriage failed. I cannot deal with unreasonable complaints on a day-to-day basis – it is too much for me.
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In one instance, I took her out to buy her shoes. She was complaining about something that it ruined our day out. It ended coming home with no shoes – just miserable complaints that lasted the next day. Even now, she is still complaining about how I am raising our daughter.
A few weeks ago, I wrote about the complaints of women. I talked about why her complaints are not as simple as you think. Today, I am writing about how to handle complaints in general.
We can always choose not to voice our complaints, but we cannot force others to stop complaining. It is a part of life, and there is no way around it.
I have come a long way from my marriage. I learned to accept what I would otherwise ignore, which includes managing complaints.
To manage complaints, you must first realize what goes inside the mind of the complainer. Despite the difficulty of listening to complaints, you have to accept that they are not a terrible person. They perceive themselves as being on the losing end of the stick every time. Hence, they see the world as oppressive, and they are merely answering to the situation. They seek validation and consolation; they need you to confirm their experiences.
How to deal with complaints?
Let them talk themselves out; they know more about how they feel than you. Ask questions they would enjoy answering. Do not escalate the situation by making them feel insecure even more. Do not convince them that the matter is not as terrible as they think. Never suggest that they are overreacting. It would only escalate their complaints tenfold. Now you have to worry about nine other complaints instead of one.
You should confirm their feeling and offer consolation with sincerity. Focus on fixing the problem. Be sincere, or otherwise, it would not work.
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A Barbarian in Gentlemen's Clothing 
And an other way, if possible, is to avoid the person 🙃 practicing zen listening
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I agree!
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