TMI Tuesday #101

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Are women natural seducers or are men?

Some people are more natural seducers than others. You may not share my beliefs in the difference between men and women, but seduction is not one of them. If that is the case, every relationship would be one-sided, with one gender opening sex every time. We all know that is not the case, and it is all up to our preferences – it is subjective. In case you are having problems with seduction, and you desire to be somehow competent, try humor. Humor is a tool that is often underutilized; it is a social lubricant that eases interactions. Play on your strengths and make jokes about your mistakes without sounding insecure. No one likes an insecure person.

Which of the following statements most closely matches your sexual attitude?

  • Sex is best when you focus on your own pleasure.
  • Sex is best when I can totally meld with my partner and feel like one.
  • Sex is best when the purpose is that of conceiving a child.
  • Sex is just a behavior; don’t put too much importance on the act, just do it the way you like and need.

Sex is a behavior. Yes, its natural purpose is procreation, but we know that it is not all there is to it. It is also about your pleasure, but if you are not intent on masturbating for the rest of your life, you should know that it has to be consensual. Ideally, it should be the joining of two people into one; but realistically, that is not always the case. So, my answer is it is a behavior. My single concern was the use of the word “just”. Throughout my blogging career, I have become wary of some basic terms. I exercise extreme precaution in using words like ‘just’, ‘always’, and ‘never’. “Just” has a bit of a patronizing tone to it, either patronizing or uncertain. I avoid using that word without justification as much as I could. 

Do you need to feel emotionally connected to enjoy sex with another person?

For me, yes. Sex is one of, if not the only instance I am vulnerable. I get naked on a bed, divulging my desires to a person – I ought to look for a connection. I am a man with an unconventional and voracious sexual appetite – trust is a must for me when it comes to sex. 

Are you allowed to be sexual? Explain.

I do not see any reason why? I still do not get how people cannot grasp the idea that you can be sexual without being a perv. You can be a sexual man without whipping out your dick to random women over the internet. More often than not, the guys who do that are the ones who do not have a deeper comprehension of sex. I am sexual – I would not deny that. I love sex, but besides answering this question, I would not disclose it any further to anyone I do not trust. 

Agree or Disagree. Sex without love is meaningless. 

Nothing is without meaning; some are just not the meaning you are looking for. Sex without trust is a different story, though. I mean, I do not see myself having sex with someone I do not trust; and without any safety contingency. If I had sex with you, I may or may not love you, but I trust you – and I place a higher value on trust than love. 

Bonus: Conventional wisdom (but not research) says that women value monogamy more than men. Is this true for you?

A woman can sometimes be a much better man than a man. Whatever a man can do, a woman can do it better if he drives her enough. It is the reason why I write what I write. There is an ocean of men out there who could not figure anything out by themselves. It often drives women to assume the role that men are supposed to. Most men have this false sense of entitlement that prevents them from getting what they want. Do you crave exceptional sex from your woman? Then be a great lover. Do you fancy a faithful woman? Be a devoted man. It all boils down to what you want and what you are willing to do to get what you desire. I know one thing for sure; you would not get it by complaining and demanding. 

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