Greetings Barbarians! Long days and pleasant nights!
We all, at one point in our lives, have to issue an apology. If you are telling me that you never made an apology in your life, you are either a saint or a dick. Both are insufferable, to be frank. As much as I talk about never getting into arguments and never lose respect, I am afraid that is not always the case. I am human as much as you are – we all are; we all make some lapses in judgment.
If you have been a fan of my work, you are well aware of the sort of tone in my writing. That candid yet flirty tone seemed to attract more female readers than men. Brutally straightforward and unapologetic, or at least that is how it sounded to me. In truth, I will always be the first one to apologize even when I am not at fault. I am sorry if you are having a terrible day. I know it is not much – but this will pass, and tomorrow would be better. I am sorry if your boyfriend dumped you. If there is any consolation, you now have all the time in the world for yourself. I apologize for the situations that are beyond me, what more when I am at fault.
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But if that is the case, why did I not apologize for the preposterous and angry Karen comments here in the blog? No one said I am a good man. I am good at being a man, but I am in no way claiming that I am a good man. I have my limits – I will not apologize for the poor behavior made by others. If you are an asshole, I will do my best to take the moral high ground but do not blame me if I choose not to. You cannot blame me for your attitude or for trying to make a living.
No matter how intelligent we have become as a species, we still are a creature of feelings and emotions. What is shocking was, despite our intellect, we failed to accept that simplistic truth. Look at how we treat the facts and our feelings; we somehow have a hard time distinguishing them. As much as we get hurt, we also hurt. We did not become intelligent nor advanced – we became jaded.
A fox is at its most dangerous when cornered, and there is nothing more dangerous than a man hurt. The only difference between man and the rest of the animal kingdom is that man has a choice. He has the choice between his baser instincts and his better sense (because sense is not so common today).
Apologies are an emotional first aid. When you see a person lying on the ground, unconscious – you do not whip out your phone and take pictures (what the hell is wrong with you?). You check if it is safe and try to apply first aid, much like everything else – you use good judgment. When you see someone who is emotionally hurt, you apologize even if it is not your fault.
Let us assume you step on someone’s foot – would you continue walking, or would you apologize? If you continued walking, I would apologize in advance for stating that you are an asshole. I get that you might be in a hurry or for whatever excuse, but is it too much for you to stop and apologize? You do not want to apologize because it invalidates the importance of your reasoning.
Now, let us assume that you told something that offended a person. You did not mean it, but still, you offended that person – what would you do? Would you continue or apologize? Again, if you choose to continue, I have to apologize for stating that you are indeed an asshole. You cannot blame someone for being offended if you call them hideous, even if you do not mean it. If you stab someone by accident, you do not step away – you access the damage and apply first aid. Use better judgment above all else.
But of course, much like everything in life, it is not without exception. You would not apologize to someone who is claiming you stepped on their feet when you did not. You should not apologize for minding your own business. Apologies are emotional first aids; it is not the bricks that build the foundation of someone else ego.
If you see someone in need of medical help, you immediately call 911. If you see someone in need of emotional support, you swiftly and sincerely apologize. You apologize to give immediate support, not to serve the ego.
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To Courage and Freedom, and Apologies!
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