Avoid Arguments at All Cost (Seriously…)

Greetings Barbarians! Long days and pleasant nights!

First off, let me thank those three readers who took their time to read about the fundraiser. I’m not expecting much, to be honest. All I wanted from you, is to hear me out and somehow feel a little bit less alone. To those who commented and said those nice things, I apologize for not getting back to you as soon as I could. My days are getting more hectic as I try to squeeze my every minute into coming up with a solution. I hope you understand, I’m sorry.

To Devi, if you are reading this, thank you. If there is anything I could do for you, don’t hesitate to ask. I appreciate what you did, it means so much for us.

Despite how difficult it gets, I always try my best not to get into arguments. Nothing screams desperation like an argument. Desperate to be right, always desperate to be something, anything. Although I don’t always follow through, I’m only human after all, I still believe so. 

Let me tell you about a recent exchange I got myself into. Last week, I got into an argument with a reader in one of my popular posts. She said that what I wrote is hard to which I replied, “not at all” and that she should try it first before complaining. While any person would say that there is nothing wrong with what I said, I do wish I handled it with more finesse. I’m having the worst time of my life, I’m spitting venom because I can’t seem to let a simple comment go. I am desperate and it’s waving its ugly head right back at me. 

You see, arguments are not about who is right or who is wrong but who had enough AKA desperation. And yes, there are critical issues that need to be addressed in an open dialogue. But 99% of the time, you can resolve life’s issues by accepting others who don’t share the same opinion as you. And that is, by any means, all right. Why does it matter much if someone called you fat and ugly? Why does it matter much if she left you with your dick hanging out?

Before we continue, I would like to appeal to you again and I apologize if I have to do this over and over again. I hate doing this and if I have something else to do, I wouldn’t be asking you. I know times are tough, not just for me but for everybody else but if you could somehow help me I would appreciate it. I’m about to lose our house and maybe lose my kid, I’m running out of time and I still have a long way to go. I’m working round the clock but there’s just no way I could make it in time without your help. So, in the name of everything good and decent, please check out my fundraiser.

https://gogetfunding.com/help-me-save-my-mothers-house/

In case you are having doubts, here are a few words from my friends.

https://theresaly520.wordpress.com/2020/08/18/home-sweet-home/

https://erisgoesto.com/2020/09/09/a-friend-in-need/

Besides appealing to the goodness of your heart, I would also like to appeal to your self-interest. By donating any amount, I would promote your book, blog, or anything you want me to. I would promote it in this blog and all my social media outlets. Again, for any amount you are willing to and I would promote anything as long as it’s not detrimental to anyone. 

If you don’t believe in a good cause and believe that everything should earn through hard work, you could subscribe to my Patreon page. You could get access to exclusive content you can’t get anywhere else. Take part in Q&A and polls, you get to decide what content you want me to make. Make requests and get included in the credit section of my post. 

Please check out my Patreon page for more details.

https://www.patreon.com/user?u=32646507

https://www.patreon.com/user?u=32646507

If you are not interested in my content, you could also hire me as a proofreader in Fiverr. I started a gig on Fiverr as proofreader and editor, and I’m planning to add more gigs along the way. If you got any suggestions for the kind of extra work you need, please let me know in the comment section. Please check out my Fiverr gig for more details.

https://www.fiverr.com/share/GPwoda

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Now, back to our topic.

If you want to win, then act and never argue. Here is the thing, each one of us believes we are right. No matter how right you are, your reasoning will always fall on deaf ears when arguing with someone who also believes they are right. When we believe that we are right, we have no awareness of the person we are arguing with. The more we are cornered, the more we argue. And once we made the other person inferior, not even the sweetest of sweet talkers could salvage the situation.

“But Mr. A, I’m not responsible for their feelings. It’s not my fault they are dumb, weak, and wrong” Seriously? How’s that working for you? I bet you are one of those people posting things like “Quality over quantity friends”. I’m not going to argue with you but, friends are friends. There is no quality nor quantity, just those who enable you and those who don’t. I’m not going to say you’re wrong, but I will ask you to think about that. 

Never offend people through argument. Instead, help them see your point through action. Why seek to humiliate an enemy if you could make a believer out of them. You can’t win an argument because when you lose it, you lose it and if you win it, you still lose it. Yes, you’ve won the battle, you’ve proven the other person as wrong but you lost the war. How? Because that’s one less person to support you if the time comes you need any. And I hope that that time never comes for you. Because no matter how evolved we are as a species, we are an emotional creature, not a logical one. Each of us holds grudges and resentments. Grudges that you could avoid by not getting into arguments in the first place. 

Let me tell you about another blogger that I came across with. This blogger for some reason dares to ask people for money for his post despite its low quality. His post is a mess of bad grammar and wrong spellings. And I’ve discovered something, most of his contents are copy and pasted, and claims that it’s his. He even has a photo of an x-ray that he claimed as his but a quick Google search would prove otherwise. He is a liar and a plagiarist and dares to ask people for money. But instead of confronting him and arguing with him, I sit back and enjoy the show. Because what good will ever come to that? Nothing, nothing that would ever be useful to my situation. Would arguing with him give me more views? I doubt. Would arguing with him give me more patrons and donors? I don’t think so. The only thing I would prove in arguing with him would be how desperate I am for attention.

Avoid arguments at all costs, especially the petty ones. Nothing good ever comes from that, it won’t help the other person and it won’t help you. Teach them instead of lecturing them. Show them instead of lambasting them with sermons. The only time I could see arguments as useful is when you are distracting them from what you are doing. Again, avoid arguments at all costs.

Before I end this post, please check out my fundraiser. Any donations would help me one step closer to my goal. Please don’t let me go homeless again, don’t let me lose my kid, for the sake of everything good in the world.

I’d like to thank the following for their support, I’d couldn’t do this without you. You are the ties that hold me together, I’m so blessed to have you as my friends. Maraming salamat at mahal ko kayong lahat!

And I almost forgot, don’t forget to like and subscribe!

To courage and freedom, and the common good!

“We are not won by arguments that we can analyze but by tone and temper, by the manner which is the man himself.” ― Samuel Butler

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9 thoughts on “Avoid Arguments at All Cost (Seriously…)

Add yours

  1. Your post makes a great deal of sense. Argument never produces anything positive, but it can ruin relationships or prevent relationships from happening.
    I really feel for your situation Mr. A. I have never been homeless myself, but could easily have been had my mother not been able to help me. I cannot imagine what it feels like to be homeless. All I can do is pray for you that things will turn around, that the Lord will provide for you to keep your house and your child. I cannot donate to you (or anyone else at this point). I barely have enough to take me to the end of the month myself. But I can pray. I am an intercessor and am praying for many hours every day. May God bless you and your child and provide you with everything you need in life.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Stay strong. I’d say there was something wrong with you if you were NOT stressed over all you’re dealing with. No matter how hard we try to be more, we’re still all human at the end of the day.

    I wish I was in a position to help. You have my sympathy and prayers though. For what it’s worth, my intuition here also is that whatever happens you will end up in a better situation when it’s all over. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I am so with you on this! Avoiding arguments makes life so much more peaceful. And I am so sorry for what you are going through. Saying a prayer right now for God to give you supernatural peace, and open the doors for you that you need.

    Liked by 2 people

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