Praise Her

Greetings Barbarians! Long days and pleasant nights!

Wow, where do I even start? It has been a controversial week for the blog. I recently posted a piece entitled “Women are not Liars”. In the post, I shared my view on how men should deal with change in their women. To be honest, I’m surprised that despite the controversy the post is doing quite well.

The post contained a bit of a background story about a marriage proposal that I turned down. What I didn’t say was that the reason was my daughter. 

Back then, getting married means I have to go through the process of annulment. As you all know I’m married to my daughter’s mother. Much like divorce, annulments are often messy and painstaking, especially for the kids. It will be selfish of me to get an annulment without thinking about its implication to my daughter. In ways to understand it even more, my daughter’s interest is more important to me than my wants. It is my true happiness.

At a young age, my daughter already underwent too much. She already experienced disappointment even before she knew the word. I will not drag her into court just to relive painful memories.

If a woman says she loves me today but decides to leave tomorrow doesn’t mean she didn’t love me in the first place. The same thing goes when your woman asks you for a Rocky Road only to want Vanilla ice cream later on. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like Rocky Road. It doesn’t mean she is a liar. 

Despite the hurtful things said to me, I never wished to “punish” those who challenge my views. I accept it as they are as imperfect human beings as I am. Countless ideologies exist and they are bound to clash with each other at some point. It did, however, validate my point that the feminine speaks and does what they feel. It is a luxury that the masculine in most situations can’t afford.

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I never was insecure of L because she makes more than I do and I never hated my ex-wife despite what happened. I will admit that there are things that I wished I handled with more poise, but in all honesty, I never hated anyone. 

Gentlemen, I do understand that we tend to get angry whenever we feel hurt, confused, or frustrated. But I will tell you now that the masculine does not speak and act out what they feel, they feel what they do and say. It is never a good idea to speak or act when you are angry, especially at your woman. So, what to do instead? How would you handle it?

Much like how I handled the controversy, I appreciate and praise it. Did your woman criticize you? You appreciate her criticism and praise her for having the courage to speak. Did your woman do something to upset you? You appreciate her and give her praise. Did your woman ask you for a Rocky Road but changed her mind to vanilla the moment you hand it to her? You appreciate and praise her. Say to her, “woman, I love vanilla ice cream but I love you more!” and sweep her off her feet. Wrestle her into bed and shower her with affection for making you go back and forth for ice cream. There isn’t a woman problem that a man can’t fix with love and affection, praise, and appreciation.

I said it before, I never hated my ex-wife for leaving. You know why? Because despite falling out of love, she is still the same woman that I loved a decade ago. Without her, I wouldn’t have the love of a daughter that I’m so blessed with today. I never hated L for leaving me after making me feel so loved because I grew in that relationship. It doesn’t make them liars. Life is imperfect, it is volatile and ever-changing, the same as a woman much like an airplane ride. It may suck, it may get bumpy, but it doesn’t mean you have to jump off the plane. Appreciate and praise your life and your woman.

To courage, freedom, and women!

“He wondered how it could have taken him so long to realize how much he cared for her, and he told her so, and she called him an idiot, and he declared that it was the finest thing that ever a man has been called.”
― Neil Gaiman, Stardust

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18 thoughts on “Praise Her

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  1. I like your response and analogy. Many men lash out in anger with name calling and violence when their feelings are hurt. Your approach is different and great. Though not often practiced. I think men change their minds as often as women however most people will not point that out because as with anything in humans someone has to look down on someone in order to feel better about themselves. It’s easy to say a woman is emotional and get her feelings easily hurt. Yet statistically 50% of women are abused by men whose feelings have been hurt and they lash out in anger. Great post. Loved it

    Liked by 7 people

  2. Ohhh i missed that controversial post. Gona go check that..but first let me tell you..i admire your honesty and courage to be so open about how you feel. It is commendable. With all due respect to some men out there but i think they should learn from you…your daughter is one lucky princess. I have the most beautiful relationship.with my dad and even at 40 something now i am still reminded of how we were back when i was a little girl and i can see that with you and your daughter.
    You have my admiration.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. ” said it before, I never hated my ex-wife for leaving. You know why? Because despite falling out of love, she is still the same woman that I loved a decade ago. Without her, I wouldn’t have the love of a daughter that I’m so blessed with today. I never hated L for leaving me after making me feel so loved because I grew in that relationship. ” < these words, these thoughts honor you. For having lived (like everyone else) a little bit the same thing, I find what you say very accurate. We grew up together – we had children – we had a wonderful love and even when it's over, the memory of it is sweet.

    Liked by 3 people

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