Greetings Barbarians! Long days and pleasant nights!
As you all know, I’m on Patreon and as part of the perks of being my patron is you get the chance to ask me a variety of questions. You could ask me anything under the sun, from the humble origins of this blog and to my failed marriage.
Yes, it has come to my attention that a few are wondering whatever happened to my marriage. I’d be honest, I’ve been avoiding the topic because it is irrelevant to my story so far, until now.
So, what happened to my marriage? My simple answer, I was weak.
Boy meets the girl, falls in love, gets married, argues a lot, and falls out of love. Our argument got so worse, it got to the point that we have to live in separate houses. It also got to the point that she always threatened me by holding herself hostage. There are countless times she would lock herself up in the bathroom with a knife. She threatens to kill herself if she doesn’t get what she wants. She even threatened me by saying she would kill herself while pregnant with our daughter. She knows I won’t let anything happen to her and she used that to get what she wants.
I’m not saying this right now to tell you that she is a terrible person because she isn’t. I don’t hate her and never blamed her at least now. Because despite all that has happened she is still that wonderful person I fell in love with a decade ago. If anything else, I blame my weakness. I kept on hoping she would get easier.
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Every moment in a man’s life is either a challenge or a celebration of his manhood. A man’s life with a woman is the same, it is either a challenge or a celebration of his love. A man must learn to accept both, it wouldn’t be love or life without the challenge nor the celebration.
A woman feels loved the most when a man is present and all-pervading, the divine masculine. You are already who you are and thus unmoved by her temperament. She cannot scare you, she cannot distract you, because you commit to your love.
Your woman is aware that you are her divine masculine and her challenges are her attempts to feel you. She wants to feel your full presence, your imperturbable and loving presence.
Most of the time, you will find yourself complaining, “Why is she being this way?” You as a man should understand that she acts on what she feels. Your mistake was looking at her the way you look at other men. Men feel what they do and women do what they feel, it’s not sexist, it’s stating the difference between the two. It’s not saying one gender is better than the other.
You cannot say to your woman to “suck it up, buttercup” like the way to say it to yourself or your male peers.
If you remain strong, and with humor and happiness, then she can relax to your capacity for love. You deserve her trust and don’t need her validation for you to love her, you love and that is your truth.
Stop hoping for your woman to get any easier. Do not weaken your woman by attempting to change her, love her instead. Remember that weak women often settle for weak men. By attempting to change her, you are making her weak thus also making you weak.
To Courage, and Freedom, and Women!
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