Never Cheat your Family of your Fullest Self

Greetings Barbarian! Long days and pleasant nights!

Men are often regarded as direct and simple creatures. We men thrive in simplicity, we try to keep it simple as much as we could and try to focus. We never multitask, we compartmentalize.

With that said, I would like to ask a very simple question. Has there ever been a time where you have to choose between your truest calling and your family? I would love to hear all about it in the comment section. 

Being a solo father, there are moments where I have to choose between being a parent and my truest calling. To be honest, there are a lot of moments that I’ve used being a parent as an excuse. I’ve been wanting to go back to the gym but I still haven’t. I figured that the money I spend on myself is of much better use for my daughter. While yes, that made a lot of sense yet, I could just make more money or stop wasting money, right? 

Before we proceed, I’d like to thank you again for another wonderful month of writing. I know times are tough but still, some of you have time to read my post. I appreciate it, thank you! 

In turn, I will strive to give entertaining and informative content as much as I can. I can’t help in saving the world but I will do my best to lift some spirits. 

Special shoutout to Parikhit Dutta @

Again, thank you for your support!

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Sometimes, a man has to choose between his family and what he feels his true purpose is. Given that one of a man’s roles in life is to provide, a man will oftentimes feel torn between his purpose and his family. It suffices to say that men are “selfless”.

Yet, what if I tell you that this “selflessness” is often the bane of most men? What if I tell you that this kind of “selflessness” often robs your family more than providing for them?

In some of my posts, you’d often hear me say that a man must stay loyal to his purpose. Otherwise, it would leave a gaping hole in his heart that no woman or vice could ever fill. A man’s purpose fills him with an otherworldly sense of happiness and only then a man could give his fullest gifts. He will not be distracted with his what-ifs and can fully devote his time and attention to his family. 

A man must never allow himself to use his family as an excuse to fulfill his truest heart’s desire. Don’t make the same mistake that I made by skipping the gym because of parenting. It’s not my daughter but the lack of money that prevents me from going to the gym. You are robbing your family of your most precious gifts. 

Your family wants you to be happy, even my seven-year-old daughter has notions that she wants me to be happy. If you deprive yourself of happiness then it’s not you that you are depriving but rather your family. If by an off chance that it is your own family that deprives you of your happiness then it’s time to re-evaluate your life. 

At the end of the day, we men always wanted everyone to be happy. With that said, don’t allow others happiness to cost you your own. Stay loyal to your purpose at all costs.

For courage, freedom, and happiness!

“Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.”
― William Shakespeare, Hamlet

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10 thoughts on “Never Cheat your Family of your Fullest Self

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  1. Firstly, thank you so much for sharing my post! I feel humbled. Thank you again.

    And this is yet another interesting post. I guess we often use excuses, in this case to give more time to one’s family, to escape what our heart wished to do. And even if we were to ‘sacrifice’ that desire to be there for the family, it will be half-hearted, wouldn’t it? May be striking a balance is the key and that would make one truly happy.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I find this intriguing, that you struggle with what well I have. Yet as a wife I set my calling aside so that my husband could chase his. I spent 21 years happily supporting him in his dreams and his desires. When he passed I was completely lost. In a way I still am, yet I am finding that way again. I am now putting things in motion to do what I was called in this life to do. I believe that we all struggle with the very thing you speak of. If we spend money on ourselves are we taking something away from our children. I challenge that to the fullest. Why? We believe that our children deserve the best of everything. Most of us provide the things we do for our children because we want their lives to be as good as our was or even better. Yet here is the reality. Do you know what makes my kids the happiest? Seeing their mother get up out of bed every morning and smiling. Going to work or doing chores around the home and spending time with them. Listening to their stories, chatting with them about their plans, their friends, and life. That is what children really need. In order to show them a life that makes them happy I need to take care of myself that means a gym membership. Yet I learned something else too. If I really want to take care of myself, then a gym membership is not going to work unless I use it. And if getting in shape and taking care of my body is that important and money is an issue, there are a million things to do at home that work just as well as in a gym. For me the gym membership was dropped because I found that I would rather run my miles outside, than inside on a treadmill. I have gotten my run time down to half an hour. A child is not going to miss four hours with me per week, but if I don’t take care of my health both mentally and physically, they will miss me for years should my health fail me.
    We teach our children to chase dreams, but if we don’t lead by example then our words may fall empty. My dream is to be a writer and a doctor. Thus I am working on my Psychology doctorate and while I am a few years out from that, my children will see that just because I put my calling off, doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t still pursue it. My husband and I taught our children what a happy, healthy, loving, marriage looked like. If you were to ask them they would tell you that they know without a doubt that their parents loved each other very much. I am now also teaching my children how to deal with death, and how to be older and still chase dreams. Life is so much more than what we can provide for our children, we must teach them about all aspects of life and finding inner happiness is part of that. Good luck and start working out. 15 minutes is all it takes to start out, and it is worth it because you are worth it.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I kept smiling reading your comment! 🙂 Indeed it is not selfish to realise one’s dreams and in that sense, like you wrote, we become role models to our children. They learn so many things by just observing their parents than actively teaching them. And I am so happy to learn that you are pursuing your doctorate!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I can’t put into words the feelings I had after reading this. Let me tell you that you are an inspiration and you have my admiration. Life gets tough but life wouldn;t be meaningful without adversary. You did good, and I’m so proud of you, you are worthy of your name. You are a true lioness… Cheers!


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