No Toilet Paper, No Problem (the Filipino’s Solution to the World’s Toilet Paper Problem)

Greetings Barbarians! Long days and pleasant nights!

I’ll admit that we Filipinos are a flawed society; we are what politically correct people would call a “developing country” after all. I know a lot of Filipinos have the wrong mentality in dealing with some issues but I’ll always be proud of my roots. Though, let me be the first one to admit that I’m not the perfect example of citizenship. I was one of those who facepalmed himself with the way many Filipinos see our current situation. I will, however, choose not to criticize and try my best to make my countrymen understand. The point is to influence not to alienate, and who knows, I might even convince the rest of the world. 

From what I see on my community and the news, there is a rampant dumbfuckery of hoarding. A lot of folks decided to go full-blown “Walking Dead” and decided to stock up on food, medicine, alcohol and yes, toilet paper. Somehow, some genius out there figured out that toilet paper is the answer to what was happening (feel free to comment down below if I’m wrong). 

Well, what’s been done is already done; there is no point in crying over spilled milk. Time to move on and do something about it. For those who are stuck at home with limited or no toilet paper, I got you! You may not like it, (yes, for some of the rest of the world may find this hard to swallow) but extreme conditions demand extreme responses. 


Before we get to solving the problem that is wiping our asses, let me first thank every one of you for the support on this difficult moment. In my latest TMI post, I’ve opened up how scared I was about the situation. We’re on lockdown, I have a kid and a mum to take care of and I have a cough. I know it isn’t enough of a symptom, but I would not want to risk it due to asymptomatic cases in which they are not sick but are spreading the disease. I want to remain vigilant but not panicking, arrogant dismissiveness has no place right now and would be dangerous at this point. So thank you for the support on this difficult times.

Shoutout to:

Lynnefisher @ https://lynnefisher.wordpress.com/2020/03/01/musings-on-controlling-behaviour/

Again, thank you! Cheers!


At home, most Filipinos never worry about toilet paper, our answer? A humble tabo. 

A tabo is a plastic water dipper we common Filipinos use for CLEANING our asses. We fill our tabo with water (it is usually accompanied by a “timba” or a water pail) and wash our asses with it. Yes, we use water and soap to clean ourselves and since it is washed and soaped we use a towel to pat it dry, much like when taking a shower. I know that may come as a surprise to you but that is our solution. It is fine if you don’t like it but beggars can’t be choosers, you know.  

There is no tabo available in our country, what should I do? Make one! Use anything that could carry enough water. We can’t use that here, it will make a mess. Then clean it up afterward. Ewww, that’s disgusting! Well, we’ve been using it ever since and we turned out fine. The thing is, my friends, times are changing and we have to adapt. There are solutions to every question, you just had to have the right mindset to it. Like I said, extreme conditions demand extreme responses, beggars can’t be choosers. It’s too bad that there’s no toilet paper but instead of complaining, try to do something about it. Who wouldn’t want themselves to be clean? If you don’t like it I won’t force it to you, I just wanted to help out. At the end of the day, I just want you to be happy and healthy. If there is anything that I could do to the betterment of your lives I would do it in a heartbeat. 

Again, a reminder to you all, stay safe and stay healthy.

To Courage and Freedom, and Toilet Papers!


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55 thoughts on “No Toilet Paper, No Problem (the Filipino’s Solution to the World’s Toilet Paper Problem)

Add yours

      1. First from Dad—he was from the old country—so he knew better. But really not until living in India (2000-2005) did it become a permanent way of life. Now, I can’t imagine not washing. We have installed hand bidets too. Cheers to tabo! Wash that thing!

        Liked by 1 person

  1. Your narration😂😂😂, so hilarious and still helpful. Fortunately in my country people aren’t crazy about stocking up on toilet paper lol, so it’s still out there a lot. But will definitely use water if we do go out of it. I f**king love this post😂❤️✌🏾

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a great post! And how simple of an idea-no real TP problem USA, just wash your privates! We’ll all probably be cleaner and better off by being thoroughly cleaned and dried anyways! Love the idea of “hand bidets” &/or tabo’s 🧻 ✌🏻🧻 ✌🏻

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Love this post!!! ♥ Creative solutions and back to basics are never a bad thing. For many, we have lived in comfort and convenience for so long that not having those things is shocking.

    Last night Daddy & i were saying that we could go old school and use wash rags. Rinse, soak & wash. Not all that long ago every mom used cloth diapers. A bit more work, but millions of babies came out just fine!!! We’re all home anyhow, so we have the time to deal with this.

    Again, thank you for your post today. Hope your cough is easing up and you’re on the mend. I’m right there with you with asthma that’s keeping me down. Spirits up, but the body slow.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw… My mom and nephew have asthma, that’s why I’m very careful not to give them cough. It’s very difficult these days, especially when all is closed down and the hospitals are focused on the virus.

      Keep safe there, cheers! 🍸

      Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s nice to see some others in the blogisphere are also advising caution, not hysteria. 🙂

    If it makes you and any of the comment readers feel better, some of these hoarders are being properly punished by stores. They’re not being allowed to return the cases of TP, hand sanitizer and other products they tried and failed to scalp. While that means the stores don’t have the returned items to sell to others, it will hopefully discourage such blatant greed in the future.

    Stay proud of your culture also. Many of the people who would mock a tabo as a solution are just as likely to think a bidet is weird.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I’ve been saying for a while that there are other options…and, I live in the country so I don’t have a problem with going outside, if need be. It helps that the weather is warming up… I know that not everyone has this option.
    It might help to note that only toilet paper can be flushed.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I kind of giggled and snicked when I saw all of those Americans (although I am one too) stockpiling and hoarding toilet paper. Last fall I had a bidet installed on my toilet, after a European friend pointed out the obvious to me. “If you get mud on your hands, do you wipe it off with a paper towel or wash it off with water?” Water. “Well, then why not do the same with your ass.” Light bulb came on. Why not, indeed. Now I wouldn’t give up my bidet for anything. Silly Americans.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thats actually the right analogy, to get to the nearest hose and hose it out! Good job on installing that bidet. We have bidets install in our stronghold but tabo is still ang integral part of our culture that every Filipino bathroom has it. Cheers! 🍸

      Like

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