TMI Tuesday #64

A bit risque today, read at you own risk!

In a D/s relationship (dominance and submission), what do you enjoy most?

Aside from the sex, the absolute honesty and trust between two consenting adults. All kinks aside, I enjoy having someone who I could completely be honest about myself without any fear of judgment. We all want someone to accept us, the good, the bad, and everything in between. I am not without flaws, I deal with it in public but at the end of the day, I wanted to come home to someone who accepts me and trusts my judgment.

What do you want people to know most about D/s relationships?

Just because someone is kinky or enjoys alternative sex, doesn’t mean they are bad, desperate or would want to have sex with you in an instant. I’m very selective of my partners, I look for people who deserve my trust. Especially nowadays when a lot of what you say could easily be twisted and misunderstood. People in D/s relationships place high regard for their safety.

For you, does D/s need to have a sadist and masochist component?

Not at all, people have a way of doing what works for them. I’m not an extreme sadist but I do enjoy teaching and control. I enjoy making rules and protocols and discussions. I’d rather give out difficult reading or writing assignments as punishments. I don’t give out tasks or punishments that are detrimental to my partner’s growth. The important thing here is that both parties agree and the safety of both parties is paramount.

For you, does BDSM have to involve sex?

Sex is involved in everything we do, the intermingling of masculine and feminine energies. Freud is onto something on his Psycho-Sexual Theory. Sex is one of, if not the greatest drive in life. We as a species use sex to procreate, we seek fame, fortune, and success to attract better mates. Sex is involved not just in BDSM but in every facet of life. It is the swirling of two different energies, complementary opposing energies that is the creation of life itself.

If you are in a D/s relationship, why do you need it?

I wouldn’t say need but want. I want to have someone I could trust with everything, I want to have someone I could be honest about myself. I want someone who also trusts my wisdom and what I am capable of. Like I said earlier, we all want someone who accepts us, the good and the bad.

If you are not in a D/s relationship, would you like to be? Why?

I’m lucky to have been blessed with having someone who I could place my trust in. Never once made me feel that I’m not worthy or undeserving. Someone who sees the best in me despite my flaws. Though the situation is far from perfect right now, as the whopping 100+ kilometer between us and the fact that I’m a solo dad, I’m still grateful to have someone like that.

Bonus: What is the relationship between trust and vulnerability?

I’m the kind of man who tries to hide his weakness at all cost, the truth is I despise weakness. I try not to explain, complain, rant most of the time. That is why I don’t write introspection too much, I keep myself to myself. I write about my opinions not my feelings, and to be honest, speaking from the heart is the worst thing a person can do. I hate being vulnerable.

With that said, no one can survive without someone. That someone is whom I place my trust. They are my close family and friends and that one special person. We all need someone whom we could trust when we feel vulnerable.

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8 thoughts on “TMI Tuesday #64

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  1. Great responses!

    I bow down to your response for #2…’I look for people who deserve my trust.’ What a powerful statement…and something all kinksters should strive for.

    But, your answer to #4 is so true. EVERYTHING involves as aspect of sexual energy. Preach!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Woah! Thanks, B! That means a lot.

      I guess I have my share of disappointments in regard to #2. There was a point in life that I open up everything to someone only to find out they cannot be trusted.

      As for #4, I came from a place where people are either conservative or have a shallow understanding of sex. 😅


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