Greeting Barbarians! Long days and pleasant nights!
Quick question, what was the coolest thing you’ve done in your life? Seriously, what was the thing that you did in life that makes you say to yourself “I did good”? I’d love to hear about your greatest moment in life. I know you’ve got plenty, so let’s hear it!
I’ve always been fascinated by other people’s stories. I knew that it’s none of my business and I sure hate to stick my nose into other people’s business. But when other folks deemed my worth and decided to open up with me, I’d sure be happy.
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“Be interested in other people,” that’s what my mother used to say. “I never married your father because of his good looks but rather his warm and welcoming smile”, she said. And it’s quite true; a warm and genuine smile is one of a man’s arsenals in life. Smiling at someone is almost the same as telling them that you saw and approved what they are doing. With a simple gesture, you’re placing them on a spotlight that they deserve.
The thing is, we love being noticed, regardless of what wrongs we did in life, we all wanted to be noticed. We wanted to have friends to give us company, no one wakes up in the morning and says “I want to be lonely today!” with great enthusiasm.
But despite that fact, why do some people end up alone? I don’t think extroversion or introversion has something to do with it. To be honest, people use introversion as an excuse for not having friends, the keyword here is “having”. Everyone wants to have friends, regardless of how many and how deep the connection is. But as we all know, wanting something doesn’t mean having. Introversion and Extroversion do have varied responses to stimuli, but we need connections.
So what are we doing wrong, and how can we prevent this? My answer, we fail to acknowledge the human condition. We are so occupied with our awesomeness that we almost don’t notice others.
Confidence, especially of a man, lies in what he could do both for himself and to others. It is honorable for a man if he could make friends for the benefit of himself and at the same time others.
One can gain more friends by taking an interest in others than being interesting. By becoming interested in a person, you are noticing them and placing them in the spotlight. You are validating who they are and what they are doing.
Everyone, to some extent, wants validation; no one likes to be dismissed. We all want that metaphorical pat on the back. We all want that feeling of appreciation saying “I see what you’re doing and I approve”. Now, the question is; if we are all aware of that then why deprive someone else of it?
I have a few simple rules in life, one of them is “you cannot give something you don’t have”. The way I see it, there are plenty of reasons to take an interest in others. No one wants to feel unwanted, everyone wants to feel that somehow, they belonged. He who takes a genuine interest in others will never feel unwelcome.
To Courage and Freedom, and Friends.
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