A Man’s Purpose

Greetings Barbarians! Long days and pleasant nights!

Let me tell you something about myself, you see, I was not always confident, charming and dashing. I grew up very insecure, I envy the cool kids who had everything, the coolest toys, friends, and girlfriends. I carried that envy until my young adulthood and made critical life decisions with that envy. I postponed a lot of things in life because of my ex-wife, I’ve abandoned friends, family and myself because of that. 

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Wisdom indeed comes with age, and in my case, experience. I could say that I have experienced a lot to know what I am talking about. Love or at least true love will never get in the way of a man’s destiny. 

A man’s purpose must come first above all else, not your woman. I know, I know, that sounds harsh and selfish but try to hear me out. Your women would be happy for 30 minutes of your undivided attention than an hour with only half of it. Ron Swanson got it right when he said: “Never half-ass two things, whole ass one thing”.  

I found a lot of young guys out there falling head over heels in regards to love. There is nothing wrong with that, it’s just that almost all haven’t realized their mission in life. I should know, I made the same mistake before. A Mistake that I’m not planning to make any time soon.

A man must do everything he can to align his life with his purpose. If he doesn’t yet know his purpose, he must do everything he can to find it. A man cannot live without his purpose or else, he will live his life confused and unsatisfied. Yes, he will enjoy the comfort and warmth of a woman, but he will spend his life thinking of what-ifs.

As for me, I found my purpose in being a father. Being a parent always comes first even for romance. Sometimes, I wonder if such a woman exists; someone who is willing to go second in the order of things. To be honest, I haven’t seen one so far, and I sure hope Pancake does.

My experiences in life made me a man who no longer overvalue happiness but look for purpose instead. Why settle for something fleeting when you can go for something lasting? A lot of people will try to convince you to search for happiness but deep inside you will know that that is not true. 

I should know, being a father to a little girl is not rainbows and sunshine all the time but it was fulfilling. I would trade all the rainbows and sunshine in the world for that kind of fulfillment. 

Parenting is a challenge yet, I have become more at peace with myself. No woman could ever fill the void that being a father gives me. I wish Pancake would understand, No one could ever separate me from my daughter. Parenting has made me whole and made me one with myself. 

The purpose may come in many forms, mine was fatherhood; others maybe their work or sports. Regardless, men should pursue their purpose and focus on his destiny. To be quite honest, I think women like men who pursued his destiny before settling in. Women, please comment below if you agree. 

A lot of people have been asking me how do I manage unemployment while raising a child. My simple answer would be I do whatever it takes. Every morning I tell myself that my complaints don’t matter, so suck it up, buttercup! The important thing is that I keep the ball rolling and hustle. As for my kid’s mother, she is living the life and I wish her all the best. Not that I’m bitter but, what she’s doing right now is none of my concern as if it is going to make our life any easier. I focus on my destiny. 


“To realize one’s destiny is a person’s only obligation.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

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20 thoughts on “A Man’s Purpose

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  1. No one should ever look outside of themselves for happiness, wholeness and purpose. You can only truly find that from within. One should ideally come to a relationship as a whole, self–sufficient person. They are not their to make you whole but to compliment the whole that you are. Looking for happiness in another loads the other person with the unfair pressure to make you happy. You made some very valid points that most people are actually quite afraid to admit. 🤘🤘🤘

    However, in a relationship with children, the spousal unit takes precedence over the parental one… or it should… in order to create a sense of stability and love for the child to grow up in. Children should be put first to a degree… but the romantic relationship from whence the child came needs to be #1 sometimes… for the child’s overall benefit. Does that make sense?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thi TJ, thanks for dropping by!
      Yes, I understand what you’re saying about romance to come first when a child is involved. Children do what they see, not what they are told. In a normal parental relationship wherein both parents are responsible, yes that would be ideal. I guess, in my case the other party has parenting is not the priority.

      Life is funny when it comes to ideal thou, as it does not always turn out the way you intended to. Regardless, a person must do everything they can to keep the ball rolling.

      Cheers TJ! =)


  2. Love is not a mistake and it never becomes the hindrance in achieving one’s purpose or goals in life.Infact love helps and boosts up to reach to our goals..It sounds as if you have been in a sour relationship..sometimes two people are not meant for each other..so they should move on..and it’s good that you have found your life’s purpose in being a father. That is so b’ful..You are on a positive road.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Divya, thanks for dropping by!

      Hmmm… from a female’s perspective, i’d agree. Women need love, while men on the other hand needs purpose. And no, the relationship is not sour. It is just those I’d rather get things done than to worry about it.

      Cheers! =)


      1. Hi Divya! Thanks for dropping by again! I appreciate it.

        Segregating, maybe. But I’m not saying one gender is better than the other. More like stating the difference between the two.
        Men are or should be driven by purpose and women are or should be driven by intimacy. I’m not saying that they can’t be driven by both. But, like I said, men should focus mainly on their mission before focusing on intimacy. Anyways, those are just my 2 cents on the matter.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Perhaps now my friend you understand more of the love a mother feels for her child. You know the mother bear and mother hen comparisons. It’s such a great feeling to have such a strong connection and feeling for someone. I am glad you are able to get that.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is probably a good reason not to marry super young. You are right. It is better to be grounded as an individual before becoming a couple.

    But, I agree with the one comment about marriage coming before parenting. Sometimes, divorce happens and single parents do a fantastic job. But, an intact family is sure a blessing in a very unstable world. That said, we just have to do the best we can with what we have and pray that it’s blessed. Blessings on you and your daughter in the New Year!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree, settle yourself first before settling with someone.

      As for parenting, I’d agree that a more traditional family structure is ideal. But like I said, life is always uncertain. Things that might be good right now may not be tomorrow. It takes strength and a lot of persistence to thrive in volatilty.
      Cheers to you Nora! 🍸


  5. I’ve honestly always felt this way. Find your purpose and then find your woman. It always made sense to get into a field and be somebody before you find the woman and then start raising little people. If you’re somebody who already has people who look up to you, I think the children will naturally look up to you, as they’ll be inspired by others and as a man, respect is a huge boost. And I love that Ron Swanson quote. Whole ass. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Parker, thanks for joining us!
      Yes, a lot of youngsters today don’t realize that. As I said, there really nothing wrong with love or romance. But without purpose, any kind of love becomes misguided and unrealistic.

      Cheers! 🍸

      Liked by 1 person

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