Greetings Barbarians! Long days and pleasant nights!

For us, there are certain things in life that make perfect sense. Regardless of what people may think, there are truths within our souls that are absolute. The things we do that make us feel alive sure is undeniable, that regardless of its difficulties – we soldier on.

I’m sure that you are aware that I am a solo dad – but what you didn’t know is that I’m a stay at home dad. Yep, you heard it right – I’m a poor stay at home dad. While your view of me might change, it won’t change the fact that being a dad is the most wonderful thing I’ve ever done. From my diaper changing obligations, I rose to the rank of helping with the assignments. Being a father has saved me from a downward spiral in many ways possible.

If you lost any respect for me, I won’t hold it against you. Why should you listen to me about style, books, and leisure if I couldn’t afford those myself? First off, being stylish doesn’t mean rich. It means you know what’s important. We deal with the cards that we’ve been dealt with and make best with what we have. We better ourselves.

It is in being a solo parent where I have found the most meaning in life. Despite its problems, teaching a child to be a strong-willed individual is rewarding. For that, choosing to be a stay-at-home dad is much more satisfying than my previous stint as a programmer. Sure, money is a bit tight, but I could still manage to provide for my daughter as well as pay the bills. I guess I made a wise decision to put my money into some investments while I still have them. While some of my friends look down on my situation, I believe that being a fulltime father is best for my daughter. I aim to be her guiding light in her journey and set the standard for the many men that she will encounter in her life. I am her protector, her provider, and her creator – but she is my hero.

Being a solo parent sure is great, but it also has its downsides. Like I said, money is a bit tight – so I budget as much as I could. Currently, I spend most of my income on paying my bills and providing for our needs – with enough left for our savings account. Speaking of, I’m quite proud of how I managed my savings and credit cards. On rare occasions, I splurge on things that have great quality (not brand names) thus would last. I could still manage to buy books, shoes, clothes while at the same time fulfill my obligations as a dad. There is no rule saying that when you are poor, you must look poor. Yes, you must live within your means – but that doesn’t mean you have to let go of your desire to be better.

If there is a lesson that being a solo parent has taught me is to follow my heart and fulfill my dreams. Nothing is more heart wrenching for a child than to see someone they look up to become stuck and miserable. How can I make her strong if I, myself, am weak? By being a solo parent, I learned to be the example of the lessons I wanted her to learn in life. I learned to embrace life with a warm smile and an iron resolve.

For how long will I be a stay at home solo dad? I don’t know. What I do know is that being a parent requires a lot of sacrifices and hard work. There are times when my patience is put to the test and composure is compromised. But despite that, being a solo dad made me a better person in more ways than one. I have a newfound respect for hard work and have become smarter in handling my finances. I have learned to dream again, and to have the will to fulfill it. By being a solo dad, I have become a better man. As a young boy, I was taught never to count the change in another man’s pocket. It’s none of my business how he spends his money and it’s none of my business either on how he gets his money. I was taught that the world will be always unfair, yet that is no excuse not to focus on myself. Now, I don’t know if I’ll be poor forever, what I do know is that I’ll be a dad forever

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20 thoughts on “Alive…

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  1. Such a beautiful post! Your daughter will always remember, cherish, and feel grateful for the sacrifices you’re making now. Well done! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I like that, ‘ never count the change in someone’s pocket,’. Nice phrase. You are doing what a lot of single women do all the time. Yet when a man does it if is considered admirable. Anyways I think it it good. Over here in America one of the first things a politician says when he is ready to move on is say ‘ I want to spend more time with my kids,’. None of them probably mean it. But you, you’re actually doing it. Sometimes it is easy to say the words then actually doing it. Way to keep your word

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Hi Tiffany, nice of you to join in!
      Thank you, I really do try to get a sense of order in things. I try as much as I could to make both ends meet.
      As to my daughter, im lucky to have her too.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Completely agree with you on style and cost being two separate items. I’ve been up and down financially and never dressed like people of Walmart.
    It SEEMS like you may have a niche market there actually. There are blogs and YouTube videos galore showing people how to be stylish if they’re wealthy. Showing other guys how to look good while saving money however… not so much. Outgo, even more than income, I think is the key to building wealth too.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I agree, I think many people mistake the meaning of value and price.
      One can really look nice without spending too much. A sure fire way to save money is to invest in classic style that actually lasts instead of trends that come and goes.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Mr. A, your witness to being a stay-at-home Dad is to be commended. Your daughter is blessed to experience your unconditional love and care.

    Being a father of three wonderful, grown up daughters, I appreciate your honesty and genuineness.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I admire you for taking charge of your daughter. Being both the dad and the mom especially of a little girl is not easy. As a programmer you can get job that is home based. That’s how me and my husband manage to survive wherever we go, he works from home. 🙂 Even my brother that is base in the Philippines left his day job to do home base. Salute for managing your money well, spending wisely, being stylish, and being happy. Good luck with life and God bless you and your lovely daughter.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you, i love being a solo dad!
      Im actually taking small work from home projects, that actually kept the ball rolling for us. That and other side hustles, I am actually so glad that I invest in something before quitting my job.
      Thank you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. As a developer you can have a living even full time at home 🙂 And to tell you if you find a good employer, and you are skilled your salary can be the same as a starting nurse here in US. That’s good that you invested and you are getting passive income. 🙂


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