Two Weeks…

“I could see it as you turned to stone
Still clearly I can hear you say
Don’t leave, don’t give up on me
Two weeks and you ran away
I remember don’t lie to me
You couldn’t see that it was not that way
Swear I never gave up on you”

– All That Remains (Two Weeks)

Greeting Barbarians! Great day! First off, let me tell you how awesome you are! But you know what is not awesome? Promises… To be honest, we as men should know how to keep our promises. We should go back on being men of our word, instead of the always ranting, always complaining, always making excuse kind of men that seems prevalent these days. But… as men, we also must learn how to live a reality free from the promises of others and be the best that we could be on our own terms. Sad as it may be, but we all know we cannot allow others to take hold of our reality. It must be realized by our own heart and shaped by our own hands, we must be free and must not be blinded by the promises made.

“I wanted us to get married someday,” she said, as tears pour out of her eyes. My heart softens as she sobs right in front of me, and that night I wrapped my arms around her, showered her with kisses, and we made love. Never in my life have I felt so loved by a woman, and it was a moment I held on to for a very long time. Finally, I have found someone who will love me for who I am, despite all my flaws and shortcoming. Fast forward a few weeks, I was at work when I received a text from her asking not to come home to our apartment anymore, I got all my stuff packed in a box. That moment I knew I was getting kicked out of the house, again I would be homeless. I tried to talk but to no avail, it was a hopeless effort anyways. So I moved out and did my best to adjust to my new life alone. For a year, I still hold out for that promise despite the pain. Funny thing was, I do not even blame her; I was a pathetic puny man back then.

Like I always say, “Life is as volatile as it could get”. The promise of love made today may no longer exist tomorrow. Now, I’m not calling women to be liars; it is quite the opposite actually. Women are the most honest creatures on the face of the earth if you ask me. They have the luxury to speak from their hearts and mind, they have the liberty to speak what they feel and think. They are the most magnificent creatures that ever walked the earth, and if they cannot keep the promise they made; you got yourself to blame for that my friend.

You see, my friends; we as men cannot live under the reality promised by others. Just because someone promised to us love despite our flaws does not mean we should put little or no effort at all. A promise of love does not mean we no longer have to love ourselves. To be honest, it is a lot of hard work; every day you have to prove yourself to the world that you are worthy. Working on the mundane details, filling up the little nooks and crannies of life; but the most important aspect is on how we love ourselves. It is true that how others will see us depends on how we see ourselves. Which pretty much what can be said about love, how we love ourselves will determine how others will love us. We as men cannot really give what we do not have, so we love ourselves to the point that we no longer need to rely on the promise of love made by others. Self-reliant and self-sufficient, it is our duty to stand the test of time; to never withering from age, to never faltering from the strongest of gusts. Comfort may be a beautiful place but there is no growth there.

Freeing yourself from the promise made by others makes you self-reliant, and who does not want a self-reliant man. A man that can stand by himself and push through a storm, and what could be sexier than that? A man that is free to give all of his gifts and can take care of himself and his business.

Living outside the promises of others sets us free. Free from the limitations we set upon ourselves with that promise. Our reality is ours to shape, not by the words of others. And in my opinion, a great way to live. Freedom to shape my reality and the courage to face what goes along with it.

Promises are beautiful, and the words are powerful. But beautiful and powerful as they may be, words and promises are volatile. Today, you may be the greatest thing since the invention of sliced bread; but tomorrow, you might be the devil incarnate. The reality is that things change, blood pacts can be betrayed, marriage vows can be torn. Promises are easy to make and easy to break, and we men cannot simply build a reality base on something as volatile as that. We must take root to something that has a more structural foundation, ourselves… Do to yourself what you wish others would do to you, Give to yourself what you wish others would give to you. Make a promise to yourself to grow and be larger than life, and that is, in my opinion, a great way to go. Be the promise you wish for yourself.

That’s it my fellow Barbarians, I conclude my post. I wish you all the best in taking back and shaping your reality. If you like this post, then what the hell are you waiting for? Go ahead and give its post some love. And make sure to comment down below, You know I would be glad to hear your thoughts. I know you hear this a lot but your support means so much to me and to every content writer out there. In case you still have not subscribed to this, to keep yourself updated on the recent happening on this blog.

man and woman holding hands
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36 thoughts on “Two Weeks…”

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      3. No no! Please don’t be sorry. Of course, everyone on WordPress calls me ellie. It makes sense and I love the name or I wouldn’t have chosen it to use. I offer suzanne to my WordPress friends when we begin to exchange more comments for them to choose. I love both names and answer happily to both. 😊 Have a beautiful day and smile 😃

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      1. Im doing okay i was hacked on all my posts.. that wasnt pleasant i had a bit of a downer triggered my mind a bit… however, all good .. it seems your doing very well well done xx i do wish you well hun x

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  5. However, Mr A. Re-read your amazing post… and i may read it again .. so my take everytime you experience something remember to try and learn from it… because each person you meet, love, explore and learn… you grow and you become better. So those promises… well, promises are just sayings…until that person shows you something unselfish or perhaps, says something to you without expecting something or a person stays a while smiles more when u never expected her/him to do… then again they give and give… those ppl are real my friend those ppl are worth sticking around… those ppl love or at least they are present to give rather than take

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  6. Remember to be is to voice it, share it, cry about it… one has to give completely it may sound corney but, its real, its emotionally difficult and it isnt… it can sound aweful, beautiful, many things and that is because ppl dont know how to say that i care, i adore you, i believe in you and i am not going anywhere soon .. that is honest, real and nothing on this earth will make u able to resisit it

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  10. i thought about this post for a long time and came back to it a few times. thank you for giving me a man’s perspective, really appreciate the honesty and taking the time to explain. i have a lot of unanswered questions and i wish more men were honest as you are, i rather receive a direct “i don’t like you and its not going to work out and let’s part with no hard feelings” than being misled and ignored. sad as it may be this is the case with a lot of people (not just men), who are too much of a coward. we can’t keep all our promises, we will hurt others but to me what is more important is sincerity in a relationship. we change and sometimes not for the best reasons, but I am tired of that being the excuse, that it is “not me” but “them”. i feel so insulted by that reason. my apologies if i have over stepped a boundary or gone on too much, but i feel you would understand where i am coming from. relationships take work, people have too much value to be just “dropped” when they don’t serve a purpose, but yet it still happens. what type of man / woman does that?

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    1. Hi Gina, Sorry for the late reply. I made sure first to give you the most closest possible reply.

      Let me start off with your unanswered questions. Please feel free to hit me up on my contact page or slide a dm at IG =)

      Yes, i do agree with you that a man should be decisive. I guess the thing with men is that (I am not sure if I speak for all of us) we try, despite failing over and over again. And if a man ignores, neglect or not care at all; then that might a cause of concern. I guess that is why were dub as the gender with the penchant for destruction is that for better or worst; we try. The lady is made at you for not throwing out the garbage, we try. May the lady be annoyed or impressed, we still try and sometimes we get hated for it (i’m sorry for mansplaining). Thats why I think a man should learn to keep his shit together. Be a rock than his woman and children can depend on.

      As for the promises, what u said reminded me of a line from Murakami’s Norwegian Wood (“Despite your best efforts, people are going to be hurt when it’s time for them to be hurt.”). Yes it is true that we change but not alway for the best reasons, I for one has been changed under such circumtances.

      And no, you are not overstepping, and I can fully understand were you are coming from.

      I hope my answer justified you inquiry, again feel free to slide me a dm or an email.

      Cheers my friend! =)

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      1. thank you for taking the time to write the reply, yes i understand better now and can put things in perspective. you have made a difference to me. i see how important it is for a man to have his game plan in order. and to not be tied down by one who can’t get it together for me.

        i will take you up on that offer, it is so completely selfless of you and i am humbled and honoured by your generosity.

        many thanks again my friend!

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      2. Yeah, it’s really important for us guys to be like that. I guess that is the most important lesson I learned from my previous relationship. I obviously can’t keep it together, that’s why I ended the way it ended despite the promises made. I figured that it there is really no sense of completion in a man’s life (or atleast for me), only a sense of progress.

        But anyways, I am glad that I could be of any help to you.

        Cheers Gina! =)

        Liked by 1 person

  11. I liked your comments very much. This is very brave and honest writing, especially coming from a man, as men have a lot of difficulty expressing their innermost feelings generally. Very nice writing and I appreciate that you have taken responsibility for your own self and also that you are taking good care of yourself. There is a book I like and have quoted many times over from a book called Advice from a Failure by an old movie star and writer, Jo Coudert. She writes: “Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never leave nor lose. To the question of your life, you are the only answer. To the problems of your life, you are the only solution.” This is good advice for us all. Every morning for the rest of our lives, there is one person we are going to wake up with, and that we cannot in this life divorce. We need to marry that person first.
    People fall “in love,” especially when younger because they see things in each other that they want to see and that they like, but often they fail to notice if they are both standing and looking out into the future in the same direction.
    This is a positive post, and I enjoyed reading it very much. Thank you kindly.

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      1. I was single for many long years, and happy in that state. Some of my most constructive years in terms of careers, my art, and my external activities (one was founding and running a 501 (c)(3) nonprofit to assist physically challenged fiber artists.) I was very active, volunteering and learning always new things, so I never felt alone. I never had a lot of money because money has never been the most important thing to me. I don’t generally even care about new things – my favorites come from thrift stores and I drove my last car some 21 years before I sold it for a little bit. I grew up that way back in those times and I am glad. I generally use what I do have to help others as well as to live on my own self in a very modest way. I am an artist and writer, and quite happy to be on my own. I have always had pets, and they are wonderful for company, but I could always put them outside or to bed and they seemed to know how to amuse themselves when I was working. Now and then I would go out to dinner with someone but we were always just friends. And I always had side professions like being a quilt and textile appraiser for some 22 years. It was not for the money but for the joy of doing something I quite enjoy to this day. I have had a full life of adventures too, as my other degree was in archaeology, and I worked in the field for some years in Arizona, New Mexico, and Mexico until I got Valley Fever and Paratyphoid. I got to meet a lot of unique and truly interesting people in my life that I will never forget. Many, if not most of them are no longer with us.

        It has been in the last five years that I entered a relationship I think at 73, and as I am approaching 78, it is a very stable and good relationship. We come from very different backgrounds, but there is something very good about a relationship when you are older. For one thing, there is no more drama as there sometimes is in an immature relationship. And we don’t need to prove anything to one another. We are happy with simple things. He was there for me when I got cancer, and the following year, I was there for him when he had to have major neck surgery. Oh, and the year I got the cancer, I also got my second degree in criminal justice a few months later. I wanted to be a mentor/advocate for juvenile delinquents, but instead I can work as a volunteer with foster children in the same way. I don’t work outside anymore; I have my Social Security. And somehow we make it through the months and into the years, and it is just comfortable, but not needy by either one of us. I have been though surgeries before and so has he, so that was not a need for us, but nice to have. We have pets and we love and enjoy them all, and life is just simple. We each do the things we enjoy, and we do things together as well, but not a lot outside. Most of what we do is inside as best friends as well as loves. There are no demands made of either of us, and we share whatever we have willingly. I love being outside in nature and gardening with herbs and other plants I find here and there, often for free (and legal too). We do things outside if we are able to financially, but if not, it is no big thing. I always have things I like to do and so does he.

        So for all the years I was alone, I was happy too and had many exciting things to do. Most of all, I learned about my own self and what was and was not important to me in this life, and what I needed and did not need. I don’t regret a moment of it.

        I hope that the same happens for you at whatever age. I am sure it will. You are intelligent and you know who you are and that is important in this life.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hi Anne! Im sorry that it took me this long for a reply. I wanted to tell you how much I deeply admired your story. You have done quite a lot in life, that I can’t help but be moved by what you just have said. Thank you for sharing your story. Cheers to you! =)

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  12. Pingback: Year One… – A Barbarian in Gentlemen's Clothing

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