6 Ways To Overcome Social Awkwardness

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
Dale Carnegie

Greeting fellow barbarians! I hope you are enjoying life as it is, and if not you get your butt out there. There are better things to do than to play video games! Nah, I am just kidding. Video games are awesome! But seriously, today I wanted to talk about social awkwardness and what I did to overcome it to be exact. Social awkwardness is a pretty normal thing especially to young men who are just starting out on their journey to be full-fledged men. I know it is scary and sometimes intimidating, but it is not an excuse to live under a rock. We as men must be capable in navigating various social situation life has to offer, from talking to our neighbors, to negotiating a raise from our bosses. Our lives are a series of Hi, Nice to meet you and Goodbye, See you next times.

“Mr frowny face” that is what my mother used to call me back then. Always frowning, I never smile, and I do not talk to any random person. I do not even make small talks to the checkout girl, and I met my ex over mIRC. I really do not go out much and I find every excuse I give to stay my room to face the computer or play video games. I was a social outcast, or at least I pretended to be; I was trying hard to be the “me against the world” archetype that it made my life lonely. I was miserable, and when everything else failed; I got nobody to fall back to.

A great friend of mine once told me, “It is not what you know, but whom you know”. A saying the quite stuck on me as it unraveled me to a simple truth that for me to live a full and meaningful life as a man, I have to be social and learn my way to navigate through society. And the first step is to overcome social awkwardness, so today I want to share with you the 6 steps I took to overcome my social awkwardness in hopes of helping you who might experience similar dilemmas.

  • Prioritize your grooming – Make sure that your grooming is on point, make sure you shower, shave, floss, apply deodorant, apply moisturizer/cologne daily. Brush your teeth twice a day. Trim your mustache and nails weekly. Get a haircut and trim your nose hair monthly or as much as needed. The thing is gentlemen, this is a lot of hard work but you really do not want to give yourself more reason to be awkward about. Do not drive away people with bad hygiene, sometimes it is not our social skills that are lacking but rather how we present our self.
  • Wear clothes that complement you – Avoid wearing unflattering clothes, it does not really matter whether you’re rugged, preppy, geeky or hip. Dressing well really does not mean fine suits and leather jackets, it is about knowing what you are doing and avoid looking like a bum. Dress the body you have and not the body you might have, wear clothes that fits you and avoid tacky trends. That’s what separates style from fashion: style is something that embodies you as a person, not the clothes you wear.
  • Be fit – This is where your true confidence comes from. I cannot stress this enough, our fitness is paramount. Aside from the obvious physical benefits of exercise, it has been proven that exercise can also improve our mental and emotional wellness. It has been known to combat stress, depression, and anxiety. Exercises such as heavy compound barbell exercises have also been known to boost testosterone levels, a growth hormone needed by men.
  • Find a hobby or sport you’re good at – Sports and hobbies are more than great stress relievers, they are also good conversation fodders. Clubs and gyms are also a great place to meet new people to make friends with. A hobby or a sport can add another layer to your personality; you may be quiet tech support working on the background of an office but try adding another layer of being an excellent boxer or guitar virtuoso makes your interactions a bit more interesting. In addition, being good or a master of something adds to your confidence.
  • Develop a good sense of humor – Laughter really is the best medicine, having the ability to make somebody laugh in a very clean and respectable manner is a gift. Learn how to tell jokes, and learn how to take one. You would be surprised at how well a person might react to someone who could make them laugh.
  • Drillers are Killers – Lastly, try to interact as much as you could. The thing is, my fellow barbarians, is that you really have to put yourself out there. Sure, it will suck on your first tries but it will become better as you go along. Little by little, try exposing yourself to social stimuli every day and try to familiarize yourself with different situations. You will find yourself having the courage and will be able to relax in social situations.

My friends, I think that it is crucial for any man to be social in order to thrive; in my opinion of course. We must put ourselves out there and conquer. It is scary, I have been there; I should know. But you know what, it is better than living under a rock or a recluse. Part of my ongoing theme here at The Barbarian in Gentleman’s Clothing is to live a life of courage, so muster up all the courage and go and talk to the checkout girl.

And that sums up my 6 ways to overcome social awkwardness, I would like to hear more from you guys so please comment down below.

four group of people smiling and laughing together
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20 thoughts on “6 Ways To Overcome Social Awkwardness

    1. Hi Alice! Thanks for commenting!
      I totally agree with you that some men are overdoing it in terms of fragrances.
      In my opinion, fragrances are used to complement one’s natural scent instead of becoming one’s scent.
      My rules in applying fragrance for myself is that one has to be intimately close for them to smell it. If one has to be smelled by an entire room, it kinda defeats the purpose of complementing one’s scent.
      I do love to talk about perfumes more, and I might dedicate an entire post about it in the future.

      But anyways, thank you for reading and have a good one!

      Cheers! =)

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Well thought out tips for someone seeking to be more socially accepted…myself, I am a loner not because of social awkwardness but by choice. Especially ‘good grooming’ and a ‘good sense of humor’. I would add ‘well spoken’ and ‘good manners’. Not sure I would include ‘fit’ as that tends to add to the feeling of not being accepted…not everyone is fit by nature and finds it hard to achieve fitness and therefore may feel limited in the social circle.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Dorianna, thank you for commenting!

      I guess I have to respectfully disagree, My point in making the post was not to be socially accepted but how to be confident enough to overcome social awkwardness based on how I experienced it, I have truly come to learn the no man really is an island.

      As for being well spoken and good manners, I love it. I think it is common courtesy to do as just. Thank you for bringing that to my attention =)

      As for the subject of fitness, I agree that not everyone is fit. But I also believe that is enough reason to be one. Like I said this post is not about social acceptance, that is just completely beyond us.

      I strongly believe that if confidence is something that you have to wear, then it is not confidence at all. Being able to swim in order to save a drowning child, run in order to catch the bus, or simply by carrying your groceries in one go are good enough reasons to be fit. Better than standing idly or worst, taking snaps on Instagram when something bad happens.

      But anyways, I really love that you bought these points to my attention and I appreciate your opinion. I would love to hear more from you.

      Cheers! =)

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Your post really resounded. Such a solid piece. Thanks for this thoughtful post. Our society is growing and evolving so quickly. It is the not the world our parents grew up in. I feel how overwhelming navigating society is, and also have hid out to avoid it because it seemed like “too much.” You describe this very well. Your insistence on learning to do so is persuasive, kind, and honest.

    Most impressive to me are your tips. As a gal who understands social anxiety, your tips are also salient to me. I used to feel like focusing on appearance was shallow, a means of conforming, and more than anything (like you point out) it takes a lot of time and I value my time.
    Then, I realized, I could style myself in a way that makes the outside match how I feel inside. Developing a style helps you develop the person you want to be. It helps with beginning to interact socially, because it introduces you before you speak. The extra time spent on hygiene, hair, clothes will force you to spend time getting comfortable with your own face and body. You’ll probably feel bummed in the beginning, but trust me, you will learn your best features and come to better accept yourself. All this effort also transforms you into the person you wanna be. You may feel like a faker or an imposter at first. But then, you do the work, you talk the talk, and you will be shocked how this helps you feel authentic, confident, and like you are closer to that better version of you.

    The tip to exercise really resounded. I think of it as just getting up and moving my body. Forget about it being a way to lose weight. Simply taking a fifteen minute walk everyday, will do wonders. I never believed this until I did it. Our brains love oxygen. Your brain will give ya some great dopamine for your efforts.

    Glad you made and shared. I found it to be quite thought provoking, as you can see 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi casey! Thanks for commenting!

      Wow, You left me speechless. You truly captured what I am trying to say here.

      We both shared similar experience in regards to this.

      I really hope my reply gives you justices.

      Thank you so much and cheers! =)

      Like

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