Tools of the trade

“It’s best to have your tools with you. If you don’t, you’re apt to find something you didn’t expect and get discouraged.”
― Stephen King

Have you ever tried driving a nail with a rock? Sure, It could do what a hammer does but the results are often undesirable. Your hand will hurt from holding the rock, the rock breaks, the nail bends, you need to exert too much effort, etc. Having the right tools for the job is crucial for the completion of any tasks, and crafting my life will require tools that are necessary for the completion of the blueprint I mentioned in my previous post.

I grew up insecure, I always envied the cool kids back then. The cool kids that hung out with the other cool kids and their girlfriends. I was the ugly duckling, I was the weird kid in class who hangs with the other weird kids in class; doing the weird stuff weird kids do. The cool kids, however, seem to possess this kind of magnetism that attracts people to them, the cool kids do what the cool kids do: be cool. Other kids seem to flock to them especially the girls and I have always felt insecure about that; so when I got myself a girlfriend of my own, I did what any insecure person would do and prioritized my relationship with that someone above all else. I neglected my self-development and my friends, and let go of some of the things that made me, me. I was a wuss, I am so afraid to lose a pussy and hated myself for it. I alienated people who only want the best for me and I shut myself off from anyone who offered any sound advice, thinking I am better off without them. I was young and stupid.

Then come the failures, one after another. The shit keeps on piling up and I am sinking more than I can swim; I was desperate; that was the time I knew I needed friends and to have a mentor, and I learned that the hard way.

A man needs to have his friends to challenge his mediocrity. A man needs to surround himself with like-minded friends to support him and since that realization, I have been making solid effort to gain new friends or at least expand my network and nurture already existing friendship or mend any friendships that have been damaged as the years passed by. This was one of the most rewarding things I ever did for myself and still looking for more people to be friends with. I want to surround myself with many friends who only want what’s best for me.

A man needs to have a mentor, someone who will guide him and someone he deeply respects. I have been looking for a life mentor lately, someone whose life I highly admire. I strongly believe that there is just some wisdom that only men can provide (ladies, don’t get me wrong; women do have their own magic especially the old and more mature ones). I seek that kind of wisdom to help me navigate through life as a man and have a deep philosophy and views, I want to have a deep and meaningful understanding of my life.

And lastly, I think every man should have a journal of sorts. Anything where he could write his thoughts, his experiences, and his deepest realizations. Something that will hold the most intimate reflections of his life. Journals have a way of immortalizing our lives, our mundane, boring day to day may be a treasure trove of wisdom for those who read it. It also serves as a way of unloading the things that we carry on our backs and a way to remind us of our respectable wins and our better luck next times.

I think everyone needs to have a better understanding of themselves and his or her surroundings, and it is foolish to only understand one over the other and vice versa. To be truly honest, not giving a fuck just makes us look selfish and on the other hand, giving too many fucks (more than you can handle) makes us look like a wimp.

Having a good mentor and friends to surround ourselves with, helps us grow towards the version of ourselves that we wanted to be.

With the blueprints drafted and workshop all figured out, and gathering of tools to needed, I am all set to craft the life I have always wanted.

black claw hammer on brown wooden plank
Photo by Pixabay on

8 thoughts on “Tools of the trade

Add yours

  1. Beautifully written and thought out. And I think you’re right – men and women offer each other a different kind of wisdom that’s worthy. But, there are life wisdoms that only a man can offer another man. That’s a good thing, as it should be. I am thinking of the movie Second Hand Lions. Have a great day 🌷

    Liked by 1 person

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