Of clockworks & blueprints V.1

“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.”
J.R.R. Tolkien

Ever felt you are not in control of your own life or not the hero of our own story? Ever felt you lack of purpose or feeling lost and unsure of everything that is happening around you? I do not know about you but I sure did, going through life with no sense of direction. I just simply went through life not wanting enough or I just simply ate whatever shit sandwich was served.

I recall a great deal of my life paralyzed by indecision, not knowing what I want in life or not knowing how to continue . My early life is composed of events that were just handed to me, from my clothes to my shoes, everything were handed over. I had no real sense of clarity in my life, no semblance of decisiveness, always unsure, always a maybe, and always seeking for approval from others.

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But things changed . I got tired of being unsure, of being in the gray area. I wanted to step out of the darkness that I was so blinded with and decided to take control of my life.

Like a good craftsman, everything starts with a draft, a vision of the desired outcome.

I always believe that we are what we do, and this plan is somewhat a reflection of that belief. So I started this plan with the roles I took in life:

  • To my daughter, I hope for her to think of me as very loving father who taught her how to live and encouraged her to follow her dreams, I would like her to consider me as the father who provided for her and protected her. I wish for her to recall the fun times we spend together playing and learning, I want her to say that I helped her grow up to be a better person. I spend most of my time raising my daughter, taking and picking her up from school, helping her with her assignments or her arts and crafts, playing with her, or just sit beside her on the couch and watch her favorite cartoon show with her. I will admit that things are not always easy and more often than not my patience is tested. But I will keep on encouraging her and keep on nurturing her talents, I will make sure she always have her art supplies, and keep on asking about her day. I will be more hands on in raising her. I will spend time playing with her and having more adventures with her. I will protect her with my better judgement and always be there for her.
  • To my parents, I want them to remember me as a man who did his best in life, a grateful son who took care of them and never forgot them no matter what the situation was. I wanted them to be proud of me. As of now, I’ve been helping my mother a lot at her shop. I’ve been spending a lot of time helping her, I could say that my mother and I are in good terms. On the other hand, I have not spoken to my father in quite a while. We had an argument about something, and I decided to take some time away until I figure out what to do. I will keep on sorting my life out and continue to thrive, and make them proud. I will initiate a conversation with my father and hopefully things will get better between us. I will take care of them the best I could, help out with their bills or with anything they could possibly need.
  • To Pancake, I want her to remember me as a kind and gentle soul who adored and cherished her. I want her to remember the passionate nights that we spend together as well as those quiet moments when we would just hang out. I want her to think of my strength during difficult moments, I want her to say that I helped in making her days brighter. I miss Pancake a lot, it has been a month since I last saw her. We have been dating for almost 4 months and despite the distance we try our best to see each other at least once a month. We have a firm understanding of each other and our predicament. I will keep on seeing Pancake on a monthly basis, and work on finally settling in together. I will keep on motivating her in life, especially in her studies and help her in her own struggles. I will make an effort to visit her at her place (she lives on the southern part of the country and it is a 5 hour drive to get there). I will plan for adventures and trips with her. I will take her to her favorite places and cook for her, give her tokens of my gratitude every now and then. I will be my strong for her in difficult situations.
  • To my friends, I want them to remember me as a trustworthy and dependable friend, who can they always count on. I want them to remember the laughters we shared and how fun it was when I’m around. I want them to remember me as someone who will have their backs on moments of challenges and I want them to say that I am a cherished friend. My friends and I have not seen each other for almost a month, but still do keep in touch with them. I will plan a night out with them and trip and maybe a pot luck dinner or backyard barbecue every now and then, I will keep an open ear to them and offer advice if they needed it.
  • To my readers, I want them to remember me for the insightful yet entertaining posts, that I did my best to interact with them and kept an open mind to their opinions and to their cultures. Currently, writing has been great and my readers have been growing in numbers. The feedback has been great so far and I try my best to get in touch with them. I will continue to write thought provoking as well as entertaining posts and to always be open and honest. I will study more to improve my writing.

The second part of my plan is all about my personal goals, over all self improvement and simple joys I want to have in life:

  • I want to bulk up to 156lbs, deadlift 2x, squat 1.5x, and bench press 1x of my body weight. I want to train a year’s worth in Brazilian Jiu-jitsu and Boxing. I want to do sprints and I want to beat my previous time on the 5km run. I want to be more mindful of what I eat, drink plenty of water, and have enough sleep. Right now, I’m skinny fat at 140 something lbs., have not touched a barbell for almost a year and stuck with a 150lbs deadlift, a 145lbs squat and a puny 100lbs bench press. I have not trained BJJ or Muay Thai for the last 6 months, I take frequent walks, but currently have a poor diet, sleep and hydration habits. I downloaded an app on my phone to remind me of my water intake as well as to monitor my sleep and start cleaning up my diet and be mindful of what I eat. I will invest in a good pair of running shoes to start running again and train again in Muay Thai or BJJ, when I have the means again. I will keep an eye out on surplus deals on some plates, and save some money for a good bar, bench, and a squat hold for a home gym setup.
  • I want a career that pays the bills and has enough excess for savings and lifestyle expenses. I want a career that has a much flexible schedule. I am currently looking for a new source of income as well as an alternative. I am looking for any home based job that offers enough compensation to support me and my daughter; I am also looking for low risk investments to provide me with an additional cash flow.
  • I want to save an emergency fund fast, I want to pay off all my debts and I want to save some money for when I get old. I want to save money to send my daughter off to college.At the moment, I am relying on my emergency fund to get by and trying my best to prevent my debts from piling up; and I have not started on the retirement or the college fund. I will first start looking for a new primary source of income, then after a while I will start lending small amounts of money with interest as an alternative source of cash. Next I will start replenishing my emergency fund and put back spent money from that and slowly pay off my debts. I will open up a long term savings account and once that everything is settled, I will start investing on stocks. I will practice frugality and be more aware how my money is spent.
  • I want to read books; I want to have a small library. I want to learn more about philosophy, I want to learn more life skills. I have read a quiet a number of books and has started to collect books, mostly fiction. I will add nonfiction books to my collection starting with Plato’s The Republic or Machiavelli’s The Prince as well as cookbooks or any how-to books that I want to learn, I will start reading philosophy books or any book that will challenge my personal beliefs. I will dedicate time especially for reading.
  • I want to practice meditation and mindfulness. I kept myself busy dealing with my unemployment that I have got to stop and be still even for just a moment. I have downloaded an app on my phone for meditation and will take at least 10 minutes in the morning to meditate and simply get in touch with my thoughts, starting the day with more self awareness.
  • I want to embark on micro adventures, cheap and simple micro adventures that lets me discover things as well as put myself into a challenge. I will admit that I have lost my sense of adventure and got lost in touch with nature, I have not embarked on anything exciting lately. I would plan for an out of town trip and maybe a day at a secluded beach. Plan out a camping/hiking trip or go zip lining or base jumping or go discover some hidden gem in my city.
  • I want to expand my network, I want to have new friends as well as nurture existing ones. Currently I have a solid set of friends, and have an expanding network. I will always keep in touch and try to catch up with them, offer an open ear to anything they have to say and always try to meet with them when my time permits. I would also keep on expanding my network, keep on making new connections and offer any help or a good conversation if they needed one without expecting any return. I would be mindful of how I speak and practice the art of small talks.
  • I want to keep my grooming on point, and so far it has been consistent. I would add an exfoliating scrub to my routine as soon as my budget permits. I want to dress well for my age, and I have been for almost the whole year. I plan on adding more casual pieces to my wardrobe and get some clothes tailored, I have also been meaning to save up for a really nice leather jacket for myself. I want to have a essential shoe collection, and have started investing on a good quality pair of shoes. I have been taking care of them on a regular basis, cleaning them when necessary. I have been wanting to add a white sneaker for my everyday use; probably a white Van’s Old Skool. I want a small watch collection, and I currently own 3 watches and have been thinking of adding one, something economical like a Casio Edifice or an Invicta Pro Diver. I want to smell nicely as much as possible, but I’ll be running out of perfume soon and in need of a refill, maybe the usual Dior Sauvage or Versace Eros or maybe try something new like Aqua Di Gio. I want to have a emergency medical kit. I have not started yet on my Medical Kit project and would like start immediately with cheap items like bandages, gauze, pads and essential items like antibiotic ointment and emergency scissors. I want to build an EDC kit as well as a bug out bag for me and my daughter. My EDC project would follow after and would like to start with a reliable pocket knife like a CRKT Squid. I would always keep in mind how I spend my money, and keep track of my spending habits. Making sure that everything is money well spent, keeping an eye out for sales or promos. Not paying for full price unless it is necessary.

I now have better clarity of the things I think that need to be done, things that I found lacking in my life and specific steps the work through them. Drafting this is hard but well worth it having the understanding of things in my life, realizing the brevity and the paramount.

Like all the others, creating a life plan is not perfect, It will be reviewed frequently and will go through a lot of revisions. Adjustments will be made in the future, corrections here and there but a life plan has to be made to have direction and to avoid straying from the path you wanted for yourself.

I have always wanted to be a father, a son, a lover, and a friend. I always wanted a life with confidence, and I have always believed in hard work, in peseverance , and fortitude. I always believe that it pays to be prepared and to have a plan. Life is an ever changing series of events, and it is often chaotic, going through it with no sense of direction or purpose has made me restless and angry. Having drafted a sort of a life plan gives me a clarity amidst the chaos.

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24 thoughts on “Of clockworks & blueprints V.1

Add yours

  1. This has a pull to it. Your words actually emanate the direction you want to take, it’s decisive to say the least. I hope you always the means and the will to get these plans rolling. Your Pancake must be really, really proud of you. Keep it up, Mr. A! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is a very well thought out plan! My favorite coffee mug says “Be the change” and I believe it starts from having a plan for change. Some people hold it in mind, but writing it down makes it tangible— a little more real. Good job! Wishing you all the best in your pursuits.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Beautiful letter to loved ones and readers. Ambitious goals, Mr. A! I hope you accomplish them and then some. There have been many studies on the benefits of writing down your goals. I hope that you can achieve them. I also hope your readers continue to inspire you in your day to day life to reach higher goals.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Interesting you say that…I can understand a reason why. 🙂 Being specific and setting attainable goals is helpful for you here so that you don’t feel overwhelmed. I think a strive for improvement is great!

        Liked by 1 person

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