What is love… Baby don’t hurt me, no more…

“You must understand that love never keeps a man from pursuing his destiny. If he abandons that pursuit, it’s because it wasn’t true love… the love that speaks the Language of the World.” – Paolo Coelho

Love is the most wonderful feeling ever, or is it? Love is the greatest source of our inspiration. Love gives us happiness, it gives us warmth, it makes us see the world through a different lens. Love makes the world go round as they say, and the whole world is chock full of addicts of love. But along love comes our heartbreak, our unrealistic expectations that leads to heartbreak and the wisdom we acquire from it.

Coming from failed relationships after the other, I am no stranger to heartbreak. Heartbreaks are hard and it hurts, regardless of how amicable it ended. The nagging feeling where you always ask yourself where the hell it went wrong? The moment where everything you’ve got going on in your life got derailed and you’ve been left with no direction. Suddenly you are lost…

But I’ve always believed that there’s a lesson in everything. That you’ve never really lost at something, you just learn and try to be a bit stronger and a bit wiser the next time. Never letting your heartbreaks prevent you from loving again and let your heartbreak set the standard for your future relationships.

How you love a person will always be a reflection of how you love yourself. Seeing your own beauty through them like a mirror. Love is the way your soul radiates through them and everything is at peace. Love exist exactly at the point where your reality and desires meet. It is not unrealistic yet not nondescript.

I’ve been single for more than a year now and it has given me plenty of time to reassess my ideals of love and set new standards for myself. I deserve someone who would trust in my wisdom first and foremost. Someone who would trust me more or as much as they’ll love me. A woman who is a complementary opposite of me. I deserve a woman who would choose me and will not suppress me and will openly accept my gifts.

I’ve matured enough to stop hoping for an easy woman, a woman who won’t test me. I’ve already opened myself to the idea that maybe there is no one out there for me. But despite that, I’ve chosen to live my life the best I could and with an open heart believing that love is a wonderful thing.

Love will not complete you but rather love will see the completeness in you. Love will magnify your imperfect radiance, love will not be blind to your flaws but rather focus on the goodness in you.

69 thoughts on “What is love… Baby don’t hurt me, no more…”

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  1. Love is the thing that makes it okay if you mess up, and it is the same reason that you would want to fix it, and take all possible means not to mess things up again. As one song goes, it is both the transcendental and the dumb.

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    1. Hi Leslie!
      Come to think of it, maybe I’ve been uncertain and dumb and confused so many time that why it’s completely making sense to me now =)

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  3. “Love will magnify your imperfect radiance, love will not be blind to your flaws but rather focus on the goodness in you.” So true. So beautiful. Lovely sentiments. Beautifully written.

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  5. Coelho is my favourite author. he sums up life as I want to live it. you have stated some really good stuff here about love. like how you love someone reflects how you love yourself. I like that.

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    1. The Alchemist really is life changing, specially the author’s take on the story of Narcissus. That actually is my inspiration about the line about reflection.. How the lake reaction upon the news of Narcissus’ death.

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      1. yes i recall that part. there is a lot going on in that book, its rich with metaphors yet in very simple terms. yes that part was very deep as your writing is, your reflections are very thought provoking. the lake was equally self absorbed in a way, like we can get too when we are in a bad relationship.

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      2. Surprisingly, I never saw the lake as self-absorbed. On the contrary I found that part of the story as very uplifting and saw the story of Narcissus on a different light. Narcissus is just Narcissus and the lake is just a lake, until fate crossed their paths. Narcissus saw his own beauty in the lake and the lake saw its own beauty through Narcissus’ eyes. I interpreted it as, we should pursue the things or the people in life that makes us appreciate ourselves. Do the things that makes us feel good about ourselves or be with the person that makes us a much better person; someone who would magnify our own radiance. The world is already filled with people trying to bring us down, making us feel we were never good enough for them; makes us feel like bad about ourselves, making us loose sight of ourselves.
        But that’s just my two cents of course! =)

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      3. we all have our own intepretations of poems and stories also relevant to the period of our lives we are reading it. i have read the Alchemist a few times in my life and each time i read it differently. your interpretation also reflects your journey in life. your word are worth more than just two cents! i do subscribe to making ourselves happy doing good things for ourselves and others within boundaries and balance of course. when we have children our perspectives change too, i know my kids want me to be happy, so i need to cultivate a life that will give all of us that joy. the world has some really selfish insecure people, those are the ones that drain us and bring us down. but it is also because we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, we can’t help it if we are wonderfully made and they aren’t can we?!

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  6. Well, love I do love to love.. story of my life.. always will be I guess.. I cannot give myself to another without being 8n love with them.
    I didn’t forget it ever.. If you resist she will persist..
    You are destined for amazing love my friend.. a good person waits for that special beauty to pass ur face and then your glaring stare will one day be yours to keep.. much love and she’s not far away i am sure keep those eyes open hun

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      1. Oh boy, it was the best and the worst of my life.. nothing I have ever done was ever easy… not that I would have appreciated it… my child got thrown into difficulty with my ex… so by the time he was 11 I had to make a decision that rocked my life still paying for it… however, he lives in Melbourne successful and happy Chef worked for many good chefs that are TV…. still not talking to me… he is now 26

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  11. Oh, no way, all good, kids are only borrowed to us then they make their own life… especially boys… they love their fathers.. so nothing sorry about it.. he is happy and one day we will or wont … i guess , its life nothing is ever easy. We all do the best we do and soldier on to live our own lives.. which is exactly what I am doing so yes… take it slow and learn from what you know…. never discount anything from your past it is a lesson… not a life sentence x

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  12. Absolutely, I found everything leading up to that day of me saying goodbye for a while meant something so, teach her something to look for in her future… never stop her spirit her spirit and her wild nature if she has one.. which I am sure she does… is her natural person within her… never cage it embrace it and then let her experience life and always tell her no matter what her decisions are that you will always be there for her… even when she thinks you wont be.. and that is the best gift you can give anyone… And, enjoy your life…just a bit of Frannys advise honey x

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      6. But still, mature women do have their own magic if you ask me.
        To be honest, I made a habit of taking to heart advice made by other men and women older than me.
        Otherwise, discretion is applied in liberally amounts. 😅

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      3. well if it is meant to be it will be… if it isnt then it wont be…. for me it wasnt on the cards.. nor did I look for it… however, I do love it.. and what it teachs us all… plus, so much more to come… I do believe… so that in its self is exciting..

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  14. I love that life… nothing gives me more pleasure than seeing my husband happy.. he will understand more and more men tend to take time in understanding and trusting so do I .. everything is a life lesson I believe it has taken me a long time to work it out… and I am still young .

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      3. An open mind and heart will give you abundance of love, understanding and most of all it will attract like minded people that gets you… that is how I see it… the best thing you can do is be there for your daughter do the best you can…. then be open to your heart with honesty .. the only bit of advise I would give you is pick well, it is a two way street hun… your not there to hold up another you their to compliment each other…. she the girl who you will meet and you the man each person should give to each other equally and then you will get it.. then talk to me then…. lol

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  15. Pingback: Year One… – A Barbarian in Gentlemen's Clothing

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